unity/answers

"that they may be one, as we are one."


"that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you love me."



These are some of the last words of Jesus ... before he was arrested, and then killed. It seems trite to make blog posts about these kinds of things, it seems trite to even type his name in this blog and imagine your thought-voice reading these words, reading his name.

Aakash Nihalani - @ Carmichael gallery, Los Angeles


As always, I was inspired by my time spent this past weekend with a pal of mine named Brad. We talked about the church, we talked about having all of the answers, we talked about questions, we talked about hypocrisy, the irony, ourselves, others, all of it. And a few of the things he said to me have stayed in my head, in my brain.

He talked about his desire for unification, for unity, 'one-ness'. And he talked about the fact that the less he sees himself as having all of the answers for all people, the less he sees himself as a dictator of all things truth - the easier he found it to love people.

He said that it's great, because he doesn't need to try to love people anymore.

His story, if I may add, is one of being raised in a completely rigid and strict Baptist upbringing. You don't read things that aren't 'Christian', you don't seek the truth for yourself. You are guilty, and you follow the rules, and if you don't, then you should probably give your heart to God again, just in case.


i am music


I thought about this, and how it seemed that before I was Christian, I judged my friends less on their behaviour and its implications for who they should be. I didn't really have an idea of who I thought my friends should be, nor did I have an idea of what I thought they should do. Granted, that as an isolated fact can mean little, but in the grand scheme of things, it's been fascinating to see how I have become some sort of truth-bearing holier-than-thou know-it-all. Sometimes.


Needless to say, this has served as more divisive than anything. Sure, it's allowed me to at times feel like I am right, and like I am better than people because obviously I have in my hands a truth that they do not. Yet I have alienated people and I have felt alienated because of this mindset.


It's not black and white. It's been a part of my identity and a part of my journey, but that hasn't served to completely define who I am.


The irony with folks who say they've got all the answers, be they self-professed subscribers to the tenets of Buddhism, nihilism, Christianity, nothingness, science, etc. is that they may never feel that their job is done, they may never feel satisfied.


For folks who don't have all the answers, they don't feel satisfied - but they explicitly acknowledge that in themselves. And if you're like me, where you definitely don't have all of the answers, but have found yourself unable to find any satisfying answers save for the ones regarding faith in a christian God and Jesus and all of that, then there's an awareness of a tension we live in. Where we have some answers, it feels, and then, we realize we don't, not all of them.


We do live in a tension, I think, where we all crave one-ness, but we realize we don't fully have it. But we sort of do. There's a lot of grey area, you know? But then, I believe there are black and whites. For example, you're either pregnant, or, you're not. I guess the kind-of pregnant phase doesn't seem to last long, at least.



you know, more than anything I seek to have a profound hope in all that I do. and, as the good ol' Christian folks say sometimes, a peace that surpasses all understanding. So that I may not find myself trying to love others around me.


but, hey.
what do I know?