on progress

I've only been a week back to school and already, I yearn for a time less scheduled, less filled. A time with more space and a time with less things to get done.

My (foster) mom said that college were the busiest years of her life.

I say to people sometimes, classmates and colleagues, that I hope these are the busiest years of my life. And they are always kind of confused by that.

Rightfully so! It seems that some people are lifers in school. Is that my future? Will I just go straight from being a student in school for my whole life to being a teacher for the rest of it?

I've talked to several music teachers and teachers in general and it's one of those jobs that becomes your life. To be a good music teacher, it really has to become your life. Marking, planning, organizing, buying, living life, maybe having kids. etc. etc.

Lucid Liquor - Oliver Nieder

In my French literature class we are learning about the 18th century and the 'Age of Enlightenment.' We are learning that a fundamental concept of the Enlightenment was the newfound sense of human progress. In our culture now it seems a huge experience of our world has been greatly shaped by this. ... it's so normal to us that it seems strange to think of it as a cultural invention. But maybe it is a cultural invention.

It seems that as much as our lives have been greatly improved (and definitely altered) by this sense of continuous progress, there has been as much damage done to our search for peace as individual humans. You know?


I lit a candle the other night and just sat by it, existing, and knitting. Then, I felt tired and turned the lights off but let the candle stay lit. I crawled into my bed and I watched the candle, I watched the fire. I thought about decades, centuries of people falling asleep to lit candles. People who existed before we invented artificial lighting. People who wouldn't look at a source of light and think of how next to improve it, how best to make use of our (precious) energy, but would maybe just, be.


ah, how lovely to find peace in everything, to find peace while it seems the world is in constant motion.