opinion(ated)

I am addicted to the radar.

I am addicted to understanding things, making things in my head make sense.

All of these thoughts ... I’m trying to think what is at the root, at the basis, of any disapproval of another person’s decision?

What would make me disapprove of same-sex couples?

It’s too easy, it seems, for Christians to say, “well, the bible says not to ...”

As if that means anything to someone who doesn’t see its relevance or significance. I assume, of course, its relevance.

What I do know, is that every person is here on the earth to glorify God. In absolutely everything we do. I believe it is written on our hearts, it has been woven into our very skin and in our soul to have a desire to matter to those around us.

It has been woven into our being to desire relationships with others. Because ultimately, the relationships given to us have the potential to glorify God.

We were not made to be alone, to feel lonely, to do life by ourselves. We were made to find companionship. A desire for close relationships, to be truly known, is imperative to our very being.

It glorifies God because in these relationships we sense a deep joy, a sense that our little lives are important to those around us. It reveals the truth. That we matter.

Therefore, it is not the fact that two same-sex people are together that causes my confusion. It is the fact that I believe that any romantic relationship we are in should absolutely bring glory to our Father.

Which requires tough questions sometimes, to find out whether a relationship does.

I believe sexual intimacy has the power to bind two people together in a way that no other form of affection can. I believe that taking the responsibility of sex lightly can desensitize us. Eventually, we become accustomed to obtaining closeness with someone using sexual intimacy as a tool. Because of the weight that sex has, I believe this is damaging in anything that is temporary. Anything that doesn’t last forever, really.



That is my little sister. Sometimes, I miss my bangs.

call/loss

I am reading Jean Vanier's Befriending the Stranger and it is really thought-provoking. I read this bit last night:

God's call is different for each one of us
and yet it is the same.
It is a call to grow in love, in wisdom and in inner freedom,
and thus to bring greater love, peace and freedom into the word.
Once we have recognised our call and found our place --
which takes time --
then we need to learn to put down roots
and to be faithful to that call.

Each person has his/her role in building the community.
Each has to deepen his/her sense of being called.
It takes time for choices to deepen, to mature and to bear fruit.
Each call is unique
but we are all called to give life
and to give life together, as a community.

...

When we discover and welcome God's call,
something beautiful happens in us:
we experience the love of God for us
and a whole new world opens up inside us.
We also realise that it is a very demanding call.
We are invited to leave our former, familiar world,
and let go of what we used to know and hold on to;
all this implies loss.
We receive something new
but at the same time we must let go of something else.
When a woman decides to marry a man,
she is saying no to thousands of others!
When someone is called to a long-term commitment in l'Arche
that means that she has to let go of her former way of living,
the freedom to do what she wants with her day, with her friends, etc.

Grief and loss are inseparable from the call.
If we accept the call but not the loss
we will live in contradiction.

...

There is the call
but there is the loss.
But who wants the loss?
When I left the navy more than fifty years ago,
I sold everything I had,
which wasn't much, and gave it to the poor.
Today I do not have much to sell
and I doubt if anyone would want what I have!
But the call and the loss continue.
Today I am called to let go of other things: attitudes, fears,
prejudices, security, certitudes,
the need to be in control ...
There is a daily "letting go"
because each day Jesus is calling me
to become more loving, more compassionate,
more present to people,
more fully a child of God, more free from fear.

...

Let us take quiet time to listen to God's call,
To hear God call us by our name.
Let us rediscover our first love,
re-live our first call, our first "yes" to Jesus
or perhaps hear for the first time Jesus' call to follow him,
to love him,
to welcome him "into our home", into our hearts.

I scanned this leaf the other day. Man, leaves are cool.

thing is I love music, a lot, and more than some people I know, I wouldn't hesitate to make it part of all aspects of my life, maybe even at any given time. I mean, maybe not when I'm sleeping, though.

but I lost my headphones and it's just been really nice to listen to the noise around me. especially if it's silence.

just sayin'.

hair today

My housemate Mira and I were talking last night about identity and what makes us who we are. She directly inspired something I needed to write down in my notebook today:

humans are not fixed beings. who we are is changeable, different things at different times, different with different people.

utterly fragile.

able to adapt to any circumstances, if willing.

the fragility in our nature lends us to constant growth; our mind and its precepts and presuppositions able to be altered when challenged.

it just takes time.

that being said, both of us shaved our heads last Saturday, and here are some pics.

Amy goes in for the kill. Take that, ponytail.

Haha, this picture makes me laugh out loud. Mira looks like Friar Tuck.

DUDE I have a mohawk.

Two pals. Bald and beautiful. See ya, hair. Who needs it?

scuttle snails

Timelapse of snails coming out during the rain. Just for fun.


Aphex Twin
Fingerbib

music is pretty alright.

I have been discovering a lot of new music lately.

The Castanets new album is rockin'. I love the sparseness, the reverb, Raymond Raposa's voice. Oh, man, he even covered several of Hank William's songs, one of them being my favs, Weary Blues From Waiting. If you'd like, you can get it here.

That electronic grungy pop sound of The Big Pink is totally sound of the moment.

Despite giving into the man of Pitchfork, I am digging the sound of the xx, too. I mean, they're my age, tearing up the British indie music scene.

Taken By Trees new album is pretty neat. I like her little Swedish voice and international influences are always cool.

But I found this tune on my computer the other day, and (my friend) Mike keeps going on about this band The Pogues, so I listened to them. And then dragged the track onto my 'cute' playlist.

So classic, so good!

fully

so, here I am. Back at another year of university. The second last one of my undergraduate degree.

It is an interesting subculture to be a part of. It's like before this summer, I was so used to talking to pretty well-educated and (generally) thoughtful university students. And now, I am getting used to it all over again.

Transitions are weird.

I see the wide-eyed first year students and remember myself at that place two years ago.

I have been having thinking pretty hard lately about what the point of my life is. Why it is that I am actually alive right now, in this world. (huge questions!)

In Vancouver, where I was meeting new people all the time and seeing new things and having experiences, it was so easy to at least be distracted enough to not ask these things.

I think about how my eyes have been opened to only a tiny portion of the injustice that exists in this world. And as a university student, I ask myself, what am I doing about this right now?

It's like my idea of loving others exists only in one realm, in one form. For some reason it's really challenging right now to see the needs of those around me, because we're all pretty well-off students in a developed nation. As if loving others mainly means helping people out of the depths of poverty or addiction.

I'm finding it hard to not feel bitter, to not feel just so spoiled and pretty sick of living in abundance when others are not.

I guess I know the answer is both simple yet complex.

That we live in a time where the kingdom of God is here, but it is also not fully here. So we have full experiences of God's goodness; his beauty in nature, in people, in literature, in music. But that we also have pretty full experiences of the opposite of that; of fear, of apathy, of lethargy, of selfishness.

And everything in between, of course.

But I must believe that there are things to be done here, being myself, right now, in this time, in this place. And more than that, that merely existing and relishing in the beauty of God's world would be enough.

Yesterday, Janessa read from a book of Henri Nouwen (pal of Jean Vanier). He wrote that the way we celebrate birthdays is the way we should celebrate people all the time. Someone's mere existence in this world is enough to celebrate!

What good news. That our mere existence is enough to celebrate. Which allows us to fully love those who cross our paths. Which allows me to realize that living fully can exist in endless forms, at any given time.