I miss my family a lot and I miss warm weather and people who hug me everyday. I know some people here but I am essentially surrounded by strangers. All of us speaking in a language that to me, sometimes seems to close more doors of communication, than the doors of opportunities it opens.
Not to mention, my days are so structured that I'm nearly pulling my hair out. I mean, it's not that bad. But to wake up at the same time everyday, and eat the same food at the same time everyday, with the same people ... man, I don't know.
I kind of broke down crying today and it was nice because my host-mom here hugged me and consoled me (and I even understood nearly everything she said.) I started to read my bible and opened up to Matthew 25. I was looking for the part in Matthew about worrying but couldn't find it.
So, it's the parable of the talents. I read it, and had this strong feeling that this is what God wanted me to be reading right now. I just knew. But I was like, oh man, this doesn't make complete sense, I will google it. (thanks, google.)
So I found this blogpost by some guy that analyzed it. I read it and knew this what I needed to be reading. This is probably the best part:
Happiness is a quality that I inject into my work, not something I derive from it. When I work only for myself, I’m looking for happiness outside myself. Trying to achieve happiness that way doesn’t work. But when I work for others’ benefit and turn off WIIFM for a while (What’s In It For Me?), I tap into the deep wells of happiness that are already inside me. Instead of trying to achieve happiness, I happily achieve. Happiness flows outward from me and into the work I do, so I experience it as an outflow, not an inflow.
Wow. I always forget that when I am in my throes of emotion. I forget that my circumstances probably shouldn't dictate the deep joy that I know is accessible at any moment, at any time. thanks to God.
This should keep me occupied. At least for a little while.
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HI! write something!