status: found

i'm so tired of technology!

i don't know if i'll ever actually stop being so critical of it, and i don't know if i want to be.

the irony is that i'm writing this in a blog. on the internet. where everyone can see. and hopefully people read.

i was talking to a friend tonight, i was practicing piano late at night (it's still monday to me) and i went to get a drink of water from the third floor water fountain, which is pleasant and very cold, and i saw one of my friends down the hall.

she came down the hall and we chatted for a moment and i told her how my back sometimes hurts when i play piano and she was telling me about pilates and we were having a pleasant conversation and she had her cellphone in her hand. in a pause in the conversation she flipped open her cellphone to see who had texted her and then proceeded to read it, and started to walk away. i only really noticed this happening after i'd thought about it, because i said to her, "it was lovely briefly talking to you!" and by that time her back was turned and she never responded!

what the heck!


tonight, i'm at the grad club and jazz ensemble is performing, and at this point it's john and not me playing keys, but i'm sitting with some of my chums having a good ol' time, but then i notice that three of my acquaintances to my right are sitting at a table. they're all holding their blackberries, typing furiously on them and not even looking at each other. and i can think of countless times where people have almost run into me because they're texting on their phone and not watching where they're going!

i sound frustrated, and i am bit, but not really with people, who, essentially are victims. it's the cellphones themselves that i blame. and it's the evolution of technology.

i was just wondering today if there were ever any people who were like, "i'll never get a TV!" or, "i'll never get a computer." but everyone has those now. because one goal of mine is to go my whole life without ever getting a cellphone. sometimes i wish i had one, but i know i'd just be text-crazy like everyone else!

the real issue i have is people who are communicating with people on a surface level and not really or deeply connecting with someone who's right in front of them. and that acquiring knowledge is so easy to do. and that with typed conversations and screens, there are so many gaps to fill -- you can't hear how something would have been said, you can't even sometimes put a sound of the voice to the words you are reading.

it kills me. i just want people to sit down and have real conversations. to read books. to talk about these books. to go on walks together. not be worried about what their next plan is and with whom, and to be okay walking somewhere and not having someone to talk to. i have a few friends who call someone anytime they're walking "alone" somewhere. since when are we not okay with walking and just being lost in our own thoughts sometimes? or noticing the beauty of the world around us?

yeah, i'm pretty frustrated. i'm not sure where the reconciliation is! i'm going to have to give in one day and become like everyone else and then enjoy it myself, or never give in and maybe continue to be angry about it.

or maybe i'll just be different and happy. and not pity people because i'm cellphone-less and obviously doing much better. but love people. haha, much easier said than done.

on the bus the other day, these two guys were talking and one of them said, "man, she lost like, the three most important things. her ipod, her cellphone and her camera."

in related news, i found my camera. thank goodness. i was getting very uncomfortable without it.