run a way

i'm staying at rodney's this weekend. he told me i should write in here more often, i'm linked on his homepage and he said that i don't write in here enough. and that there's nowhere for people to leave comments.

me and quinn made guacamole tonight and then watched ghost world. i read the graphic novel in high school and i remember liking it but i forgot the plot. i'm glad i knew it was a comic book while i was watching the movie.

it didn't really solve anything in the end. the main character, enid, is cynical of everything and can't stick with anything. my brother is writing an article about loneliness and how technology and things make it so we never have to be alone.

tonight he went to this 'party' because he found a connection to follow this girl around, who's a celebrity kind of. she has reached the max capacity for facebook friends (5000!), has like 120 myspace friend requests a day, and if she's not being bugged on her cellphone then her dog needs walking or her boyfriend is with her. she's a hip hop musician or something.

in the movie, enid says to seymour (steve buscemi) that she should just move in with him, that her fantasy has always been to just leave where she is, to disappear, and she invites him.

i think i'm a city girl but i feel alone in the city, i feel like i want to run away and live in the country and have a farm and have sheeps and goats and knit all day long and read some good books and listen to vinyls. i kind of want to just forget all of my responsibilities. kind of like enid. nothing satisfied her. there's a scene where seymour is lying beside her, his arms around her and even though she's alone in the end, there's these glimpses of togetherness.

i see that in people here, people everywhere. people joining together in their loneliness.

i read this quote today, from this magazine andrew told me about called 'geez', it was ten bucks but totally worth it; adless, challenging, amazing. here is the quote:

As Robert Inchausti, author of Subversive Orthodoxy, says, "humans are at bottom irrational, driven not by self-interest but by an insatiable desire to matter."

my blog isn't fancy, rodney! i don't know html. but i asked quinn today, what gives you deep joy?
and she answered, and then asked me, and i said that it gives me a deep joy to connect the dots. to understand. so i'm connecting the dots this weekend, thinking, and seeing all the cool stylish people in toronto, and feeling simultaneously at home and yet alien here.

i got some nice shoes, today. and i went into a store where they had crazy instruments, a double-necked acoustic guitar that was teal, the top neck was bass and the bottom was acoustic guitar. it was crazy.

i hope rodney had a good time at that party, my breath smells like garlic because of the guacamole, but it was really good. i'm glad i'm alive today even though i feel like running away. oh, and i didn't fall asleep at all.